Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
