I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just pee around me
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
