I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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