if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
