:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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