he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
