Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
