Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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