your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
