I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
