Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
