My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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