she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just want nice things and good sex
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
