this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
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I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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