Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
