turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
