In the future we'll all be gay
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
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When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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