You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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