i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
