So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
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Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
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It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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