Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I supernannyed him into submission
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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