I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
