I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
