Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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