if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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