Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
