Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
