Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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