just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Drake has all the answers
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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