I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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