READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
