Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
