you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
