Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Drunk is a universal language darling
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize