your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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