...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
And then he peed in my hair
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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