My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
