its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
