i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
