I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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