Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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