a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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