Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
