ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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