She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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