Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize