Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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