hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
