okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm passing your future prison.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
