if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
