life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
