it was like fucking gandolphs beard
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
