i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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