This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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