Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
