She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
