Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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